sometimes it hard to let go. well, for me i dont think i can ever let go. i cant forget that easily. its just so hard for me to move on this time. previous relationships were so easy. this one is just hard.
i was talking to jasmine in college about her. i told her about how we met, how we lived, how we enjoyed ourself, how we go everywhere together and how much we loved each other. at times its makes me feel better talking about it, but most of the time it isnt. but at that time, it was a relief. i told her about she and i staying together. she knew what to say, she told me it was like being married. i told her exactly. i told her that thats the reason why its hard for me to let go. its just because we were too attached. there was like an invisible wedding ring on our fingers that tied us together. i cant really understand in what state im currently in. i dont think i will ever know. the feeling of me loving her is so deep. i just cant stop thinking of her night and day. anything that crosses my mind has to have her in it. everytime i sleep, its her i dream about.
well, i guess you would realise it when it is really gone and now its just too late to look back and regret actions. i wish that i was different and would make her happy all the time. i always thought that our relationship was the best there ever was and there was nothing to stop or ruin it. but along came another guy that impressed her more than i did. i feel so useless everytime i think of it. i cant do anything right in my life. even though there are millions of opportunities out there for me, but i just cant make it happen. i cant make things right. i failed one to many times and it isnt the best feeling in the world.
i will be helping out in college this few weeks. going to get paid and getting certificates for my portfolio in the future. thats all i need, a good portfolio for the future. better job opportunities.
one thing that always bugs my mind, can i ever love again? because i dont think i can. even though i feel like i can but deep inside, if i really dig deep enough to find out the real reason, i cant. i wouldnt want the same thing to happen twice to me again. its one feeling i wouldnt want to remember or do again. failures are just in me. it is like i have failure written all over me. i can never do anything right. i cant.
rick.
i was talking to jasmine in college about her. i told her about how we met, how we lived, how we enjoyed ourself, how we go everywhere together and how much we loved each other. at times its makes me feel better talking about it, but most of the time it isnt. but at that time, it was a relief. i told her about she and i staying together. she knew what to say, she told me it was like being married. i told her exactly. i told her that thats the reason why its hard for me to let go. its just because we were too attached. there was like an invisible wedding ring on our fingers that tied us together. i cant really understand in what state im currently in. i dont think i will ever know. the feeling of me loving her is so deep. i just cant stop thinking of her night and day. anything that crosses my mind has to have her in it. everytime i sleep, its her i dream about.
well, i guess you would realise it when it is really gone and now its just too late to look back and regret actions. i wish that i was different and would make her happy all the time. i always thought that our relationship was the best there ever was and there was nothing to stop or ruin it. but along came another guy that impressed her more than i did. i feel so useless everytime i think of it. i cant do anything right in my life. even though there are millions of opportunities out there for me, but i just cant make it happen. i cant make things right. i failed one to many times and it isnt the best feeling in the world.
i will be helping out in college this few weeks. going to get paid and getting certificates for my portfolio in the future. thats all i need, a good portfolio for the future. better job opportunities.
one thing that always bugs my mind, can i ever love again? because i dont think i can. even though i feel like i can but deep inside, if i really dig deep enough to find out the real reason, i cant. i wouldnt want the same thing to happen twice to me again. its one feeling i wouldnt want to remember or do again. failures are just in me. it is like i have failure written all over me. i can never do anything right. i cant.
rick.
No comments:
Post a Comment